My husband and I recently visited Naperville, Illinois. This was a parents only trip. Although the temperatures were offensively cold, the ability to sit down at a meal and give each other attention was much overdue. We are a “sit down as a family and eat” family. With three children aged 12, 9, and 5, that means there is a lot of  “Why are you up?” and “Sit down.” and “Chew your food before you choke.” going on. 

Last night, we were enjoying a bowl of ice cream after dinner. Dad made the bowls. When he was making mine, I scoffed at the amount and urged him to treat me a little more. Mama Bear did not deem it just right and now there was too much. The biggest of the Baby Bears got the excess unbeknownst to any of the Baby Bears. 

I got a deep fryer as a gift recently and have been finding all kinds of reasons to deep fry things. This is where the trip to Naperville comes in. We visited many restaurants but on our first night, we went to Fat Rosie’s Taco and Tequila Bar. (I’m not sure who Rosie is. There were a lot of cute donkeys on the wall so maybe she’s an ass.) For dessert, we ordered a churro sundae. Sound delicious? It was. We had sampled a variety of margaritas and that may have had some influence on our opinion of the sundae but I couldn’t stop thinking about it all weekend. I was especially ruminating on the perfection of the churros. I decided that I was going to fry up some churros (made from scratch) when we got home. 

The churros were made last night to accompany our ice cream. (No, it was nowhere near as amazing as Fat Rosie’s.) Since only one of the Baby Bears… (I feel like they should be donkeys since we are talking about them. From here on out, my bears are donkeys.) Since only one of the Baby Donkeys got more than usual, the other Baby Donkey with ice cream finished first. They asked if they could have a little more. Not because they thought they got less but because they tried my churros and decided they were not for them. Everyone else was partaking in the churro life so we gave them another scoop of ice cream. When the biggest of Baby Donkeys saw this, they were appalled. How come that Baby Donkey gets more ice cream? Can they have more ice cream too? It was explained that they did get more ice cream already. We explained the Mama Donkey not wanting as much and them getting the excess thing. We were not believed and the world was deemed unfair. 

This whole discussion on ice cream, churros, and fairness made me think about the current state of our country. I asked my Biggest Baby Donkey to focus on me. I told them this: you can be one of two people; you can be the person who looks at the bowl of the person next to you to make sure they have enough OR you can be the person who looks at the bowl of the person next to you and wonder why they have more than you. (I am aware that they could also just not care about the person next to them but that is for another day.) I asked them which they wanted to be. Of course, they said “the first one” because I am raising compassionate humans (they aren’t really donkeys). 

My Baby Donkey wasn’t asking for more ice cream because their tummy wanted more ice cream, they were asking because they felt jipped. I think some of my neighbors (and your neighbors) feel this way too. We live on a floating rock with finite resources. We have to share. Sometimes my neighbor needs them more than I do. Sometimes I will need more. Sometimes, on rare occasions, we will have the same amount. And yes, there will be times when I have a neighbor that is cheating the system to get more of their fair share, but it’s more likely it’s someone who has a larger share already. When it is someone who started with nothing, maybe we consider how the system is set up to see if cheating is the only possible way they have enough to live. 

Our feeds are filled with nervous system attacks. Maybe instead of falling for the urge to attack each other, we can counteract that by checking on the bowls of our neighbors, whoever they may be and wherever they hail from. Maybe all they need is a little more ice cream. (And churros from Fat Rosie’s.)

** CLICK HERE to ensure your elected representatives are checking on your bowl