I have been lured into the lifestyle that requires me to chauffeur my children from activity to activity. Before having children, I often wondered why parents did this. “Let the children be bored!” I demanded with my infinite childless wisdom. I was even in this boat when my first child was young and he was the only child in our home. Then we had another. And one more. Before I could stop it, I somehow fell into this routine of questioning children where their belongings were for their activity that they have every week (sometimes multiple times) and telling them to put them in their bag and to “Get ready!” and to “Book it!” because we’re running late. 

During one of these lovely interactions, one of my children asks me why I’m wearing a Sleep Token shirt.They think it looks creepy. This is subjective but yeah, maybe a giant multi-legged insect wearing a Jason mask hailing a giant grim reaper type blade is a little creepy. I frequented the band tee as a teen but grew out of them in my 20’s. I suppose I grew out of music as well. It was my security blanket in the years when I felt like nobody got me. But silverchair did. And Nirvana. Deftones. Linkin Park. Stabbing Westward. Marilyn Manson. You get the vibe. Now – as an elder, band tees are a bat signal of sorts. I don’t go to concerts any longer. The artists I enjoy are not touring, together, or even living in some instances so the opportunity to share this joy of music with others isn’t there. Band tees have also, over time, become trendy. You can easily find exchanges online of some righteous man asking a young woman to name a song by the band on their shirt and being met with “I just thought it looked cool.” Your body is your temple and you are allowed to don it with whatever you choose. So- go girl who doesn’t know any Nirvana songs but just likes funky smiley faces. You do you. 

I, however,  have come across new music that has made me feel like I did in those years when I was more lost than I would like anyone to be. Perhaps it’s that motherhood is not much unlike adolescence in a sense that you have no idea what you’re doing but we all figure it out so we just do it and trust it will all be okay and maybe (just maybe) you’ll find people who have kids that are similar ages to yours with a similar parenting approach and you won’t feel so alone. Music found me again and I would love to tap into the adjacent feeling felt at the concerts I frequented in my youth without having to risk my knees giving out. I can do this by wearing a band tee and hoping some other person sees it and doesn’t question my knowledge of that band but says “I love that band too. I love that you also love them.” That quick hit of dopamine is like doom scrolling when you should really be folding laundry. 

Circle back to me in a power struggle with my 11 year old about needing to go to the activity he wanted to sign up for. When I go back to pick him up,  the woman behind the desk gleefully fulfills my mission after months of wearing my Sleep Token tee in public spaces in an effort to secure a quick hit of collective joy. “Is that a SLEEP TOKEN shirt?!” She gets to her feet as she says it. With great satisfaction, I replied, “ Yes. Yes, it is.” She comes around the desk and high fives me declaring that she, too, loves Sleep Token. Also – that the color of the shirt looks great on me. Double dopamine hit. I could ride this wave for the rest of the day. 

As we walk to the car, my child asks why the woman high fived me. I told him it was because of my shirt. “You wear the shirt for high fives?” he asked. Yes, child. Sometimes a high five is all you need to remember that we’re all in this together.